Big Hand Roy

As you all know...I live an interesting life. After all...I live with Husband. BFFMS was here today when I got the latest call...from Husband. He was in search of medication, be it steroids or a saline solution...for Big Hand Roy aka BHR. Dr. Husband said BHR had...a big hand! He said, and I quote....and please say this out loud with a Texas accent...."SHIT! Ole Roy's hand is three times as big as mine!!"

"Well, what happened to him?" Seems like a reasonable question.

"Hell...I don't know. He said it happened before".

"Maybe he should go to the doctor(?)". Seems like a reasonable statement.

"That's what I told him, but he said it costs a thousand dollars."

Let's see...how much is the human hand actually worth...if you need it, I mean.

"Well...I don't know what to tell you...we don't have any steroids or saline solution. I guess Roy is on his own. What did he do the last time this happened?"

"I don't know," says husband. Evidently his hand didn't fall off.

That's the story of Big Hand Roy. Stay tuned for new developments.

Husband has this habit of calling me with interesting questions. This is how our conversations go.

"Remember when we watched that movie last week, the western, and that girl was in it with the red hair? What was her name??"

Hmmmmmm. "Lucille Ball?" I answer.

"NO...the western...with the red haired girl...you remember!!"

Well evidently I don't. "Can you narrow that down just a little?"

"She was riding that dun mare. Remember??"

"What color is dun?" Seems like a reasonable question.

"Jesus Christ...well if you think of what her name is...call me back."

"OK." Like that's gonna happen.

Here's another one...

"Remember when we went to Laredo and we ate Mexican food at that restaurant with Jim and all those people had to get up and move so we could all sit down at the same table and eat because there were so many of us and Jim wanted all of us to sit together and enjoy our meal?"

"Yes."

"What was the milage on the car?"

I'm kidding!!! But I had you going didn't I!! But believe me...he's called with some doozies.

We leave tomorrow. Thank God. I'm certifiably homicidal. My stress level is in the danger zone.

Tom would like to go. He loves to travel. He loves cases and boxes, too. If a package comes in...he jumps in the box. It doesn't matter how big or small, he tries to fit his fat ass in it.

I thanked him for adding a pound of cat hair in the bag for me.

BFFMS is his caretaker while we are gone. More than likely they will watch movies and relax. Tom no doubt thinks it's party time, but MS will straighten his little kitty ass out. She's a toughie, that one!!

The Goonies is on. That's a cute movie. I have a few things to do but I was in the mood to write. Be back later.

b