Pages

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I thought it was Wednesday! Wishful thinking...

Can you believe that? I really thought it was Wednesday all day!! I have no idea why...doesn't matter anyway. At least I won't be disappointed tomorrow...

Worked and went to the store today. Got 'stuff' and my personal favorites...Rubbermaid Tubs. I needed to clean out my drawers (remember?) but when I got home I discovered I had another white t-shirt...so I postponed the 'big clean' till tomorrow! But the tubs are right here....right beside me!!

Got the new DVD player coming tomorrow (thank you Amazon!!) so the plan is...hook it up. Since I never use it, don't care to use it, didn't get anything stuck in it or break it...I am sure I will be the lucky one to hook it up! Not a problem...I will just do it when Husband is not here! Simple!!

But this will be the comments when it's ALL hooked up...

"Jesus Christ...why doesn't this piece of shit work...I just got used to the other piece of shit...why didn't you get the same kind as the other one. Son of a Bitch...Which button opens this piece of shit."

(Visualize this...Husband pushing down on the button with his thumb while simultaneously saying OPEN! OPEN! OPEN! God damn it!) He thinks orally demanding that it work is much more effective than just pushing the button! Don't you think???

SO...when the tray opens to put in the DVD and he says..."There!!..God damn it!!"

Oh I forgot..."Piece of shit!!".

That's how the new DVD player will work in OUR house!!

Here's how it broke.  Did I tell you this already? Tough shit...I'm doing it again.

Scenario:

1:30 AM - Brenda, sweetly dreaming of cleaning toilets...only to be awakened by..."Honey...are you asleep??"

Idiot that I am...and evidently sleeping TOO soundly to not have enough sense to say "No, I'm not"...I say (groggily) "Huh?? What??? Are you OK??"

"Did you take the Victory at Sea DVD out of the DVD player??"

"Of course I did...I replaced it with 'The Complete History of Every F#@king World War Ever Fought' just 20 minutes ago!!" I say to myself.

"Of course not! I never touch that machine"

"Well...It's not in here!!!"

"I have no idea where it is."

"Well...it's not in here!!!"

"I have no idea where it is." I repeat.

"Well...it's not in here!!!" He repeats...again.

Jesus H. Christ. I am mentally beating myself senseless for answering in the first place.

"Oh...wait a second...it's stuck inside! How did that happen", he exclaims!!

"OK", says Husband. Do you have a small Phillips screwdriver??"

Now, I know I have said many, many times that nothing is on TV...but I could have used some help here at 1:30, I mean 1:45 in the morning! I mean just this once....but NO! So I got up...good wife that I am, and got a small Phillips screwdriver out of my tackle box (don't ask).

After what seemed like an eternity, with the additional help of a Leatherman, a butter knife and 546 prayers to the Mary Jesus...the dreaded DVD was OUT of the DVD player.

I have an idea! Let's put another one in there!! Good night!!

So, now when you close it, it clicks and sticks...Hopefully tomorrow I will rectify that problem.

Moral of this story...If ANYONE asks if you are awake at 1:30 AM...JUST SAY NO!!!

OK...I'm tired now and it's only 10:30. Going to go buzz some ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's! Nite!! Thanks for listening!!

b

3 comments: