Ups and downs - Highs and lows

I just hit something and erased 3 paragraphs. As much as this Netbook is convenient...this pisses me off! I'm better off at the desktop. (And no...it wasn't saved in drafts...I looked)

Anyway...I was saying that this is wearing me out. I am having a hard time eating. I went from being able to eat sweet rolls, a whole pizza, huge portions of cheesecake...are you noticing a pattern here? All sweets - All carbs. And I was still hungry. Now...I am having a hard time eating period as everything makes me sick to my stomach.

Once I start to eat, and I make myself eat...it's not quite so bad. Last night I had some steak and carrots. Probably not a smart thing on those carrots. My bedtime reading was 295. This morning it was 215...then I slept...then at lunch it was 250. I missed a snack. I have got to eat these snacks at a regular time....without fail.

I found a food log template on line yesterday and printed out a few so I can keep a compete record of what I eat. Husband has prepared several containers of snacks so I just have to 'open and eat'. This is a tremendous help. He is pretty close to irritating in making sure I eat at the proper times and log my info. He is purchasing sugarless everything and cooking like a demon. I am very fortunate. Don't tell him I said that.

I am also seriously missing some foods. Not necessarily really bad since I am so nauseous, but no fruit is a killer. And cereal. I love cereal. My 'last meal' was 2 bowls of Frosted Flakes!! I will positively stick to this eating plan...but I will count the days till I can eat an orange!! Or drink an orange!!

I wanted to post this now since I didn't feel well last night and I need to write this stuff down so I don't forget it! Will hopefully be back later...

Thanks so much for reading...and caring...

b

Day 3 of Hell

Man...this kicks your ass! I didn't have a very good day. I got up and ate some breakfast and took my medication and was sick all day. Readings were 285/AM - 289/Noon - 295/tonight - something is going backwards here. I had a hard time eating food because I feel bad. Called the DR and advised of the situation. She said it was not unusual as my system is adjusting to well... everything. I have until the 9th to get this under control with pills, or I'll be taking insulin. I don't wanna do that! She wants me to call her tomorrow and give an update.

I also slept all day. Husband cooked a turkey breast this evening and I walked to the office with him and by the time I got back I had to lay down! I ate and feel a little queasy. I'll get some hot tea in a bit with a little ginger and see how that goes. I am not liking this shit one little bit!!

Obviously I have nothing to write about because my day was totally uneventful. I did, on and off, watch the news coverage of the white powder coated ink cartridge on the UPS planes. Spooky.

Guess what is on now??? CHOCOLATE!!! On the History Channel on Modern Marvels. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate. Right now they are showing how they make chocolate Easter bunnies. I am drooling....

Sorry, but I seriously need to lie down. I just took evening meds and...well, you know. Have a nice night.

b

Day 2

I feel like crap. I thought I felt like crap before. Nope! I really feel like crap now. I'm not sure if it's lack of donuts...lack of food because I am severely sick to my stomach...but I'm betting it's the medication getting into my system. I can gar-un-tee that's what it is. But my blood sugar readings are as follows:

In DR's office: 478  -  Before Lunch: 369  -  Before Supper: 315  -  Before Bed:  241

Today - Before Breakfast 266  -  Before Lunch: 258  -  Before Supper: 286  (I'm still up so no bedtime reading as yet).

It's OK. I will be very conscientious. Like I said...I now know what the problem is and I never want to feel the way I have in the past few weeks again. I kept saying I was going to make changes in my life and I mean it. I wish it wasn't this drastic.

I spent the day doing more research. Mostly for meal plans. I actually have several diabetic cookbooks that I have been checking out. I have to limit carbs to none for the next two weeks. DR said to eat protein and lots of vegetables. No fruit!!! Maybe later...I LOVE fruit! And donuts.

I got blood drawn this morning at 8 o'clock by Vampire-man. He took 3 - count 'em - 3 vials! And he had  to use BOTH ARMS!! Hey! Wait a minute!!! It's Halloween! What was  thinking!! Damn......

He said it was for a 'complete screening' which includes organ function. I said, "What if I only have a piano?" He laughed. Made me feel good.

But I came home and laid down allllllll day. And that's what I am going to do tomorrow and more than likely the next day.

I think I am going to hate beans. Just a personal observation.

I should take this time to be very, very crafty. I got a few things out today and just set them aside. Tomorrow is another day. I have an order for some earrings and I really need to get those done. And, yes, I am tired...but right now my eyes are pretty messed up. There is no way I can see to assemble anything in artificial light. Tomorrow.

Guess what? When we to the DR this AM...it was crispy cold! And according to the Weather Channel it was only 40 degrees at 9:00AM! There is a freeze warning out tonight for the Davis Mt's just North of us and I think we will get pretty close to freezing also.

It's shower time. I am starting to see blurry letters so I better stop. Have a nice nite!

b

Answers...and more questions

Husband is home. He is having chemo. We'll see what's next. He's upset.

I haven't been feeling great so I went to the DR. A different DR. I saw the girl (I can't think of her title, she's an assistant...the one who takes your history and preliminary symptoms) and I explained how I felt at that moment, how I have felt for the past few months, and she asked if I would want a Blood/Glucose test right now, rather than wait until tomorrow AM when I will get complete blood screening and I said "sure"". (It cost an additional $13). She stuck my finger and said "Oh my God".

I said, "Pardon me????"

She said, "Your blood sugar is 478. That's dangerous...Let me get the DR."

I thought, "F**ing right get the DR!!"

She came back. "Can you pee in a cup?"

I said. "Are you kidding! I can pee on demand!"

This little test showed off the chart ketones. I have no idea what a ketone is. But mine are purty special! They show really, really pink on that chart!

So I left there in route to the pharmacy for medication and a monitor. The pharmacist said..."you might feel a little uncomfortable having to test yourself, so someone might have to do it for you."

(Husband? With a razor blade to stab me? He'll be delighted!)

Tomorrow morning I will have a complete blood workup. I have tested myself once since I got home and before I ate green beans and it was 369. See!! I'm better already!!

BFFMS took me to the butcher, I mean the DR, and when I came out and told her what happened, she....that Sara!!! she's so funny girl!!...said "I knew it! I knew that was what it was!!" Oooooo she's a clever one, that Sara!! I could have saved myself $78!!!! Of course...getting that prescription may have been a little tricky.....

I am very fortunate that I have wonderful friends. BFFMS is amazing. She is such a support person for me and I thank her. I know she'll read this later...it will be a while as she and BFFAL are going to see Secretariat tonight....but thank you Sara from the top and bottom  of my heart for everything.

I am so glad to know what is wrong. I will be very honest in telling you that I have been very scared about my health. I'm not saying that I was given bad medical advice prior to today...but I am glad that I went to a different DR today. It may have saved my life....and I mean that sincerely.

Now I can prepare myself for my future. First of all...I need to figure out what to do with those damn Krispie Kreme Donuts that I ordered from the school kids! They will be here on Friday. Damn the luck!! Damn! Damn! Damn!

I almost forgot! I can still take my One-a-Day Gummie Vitamins! Decadent!! And I could sure use some cookies right now. I think it's going to be hard to not eat what I normally would have eaten by now (which would have been a healthy amount). I have been eating a lot and often which I understand now, is a symptom. But I like food. I can eat a whole can of peaches in a sitting and I am used to eating that. WOE IS ME!!!!!!! I'll eat another can of green beans.

I need to look a few things up. Might be back later. Have a nice evening...

b

Saturday...in the park...I wish it was the 4th of July...seriously

I am sitting down resting my back. I ache. I'm tired and I have just eaten too much candy corn. (I'm thinking I need some energy...and it sounds like a vegetable!) I just got up and got me 5 more kernels...that way it doesn't look like I'm eating a whole lot. I love candy corn. It is my most favorite candy ever. I am eating the cheap brand that I got at the Dollar Store which I am trying to clean up (5 kernels at a time) so I can buy some GOOD STUFF!! I think I just ate my limit.

Husband has his stuff ready to go. It's not like he's packing for a month's vacation....but he is ready. I have my list of things to do while he is gone done, also. It's long and distinguished. Let's just see how ambitious I really get. I may sleep the entire time he is gone.

Several hours have passed since I first started writing this. I needed real food and a nap. I took a shower and am now trying to find something on TV. Not much luck. I am sort of watching 48 Hour Mystery on A&E. Sometimes these are pretty good.

Did you see the Oreo? As you know, I am not the best picture taker and this was definitely not a good one...but when I tried to download it...I just couldn't. I have no idea why...But I was getting frustrated and just a little testy!! So I just stopped and when I tried this morning...it posted immediately. Whatever!!

Oh! I almost forgot. We got rain during the night! I missed it completely. (sleeping...) It was a pretty good storm, too. Sorry I missed it.

I'm such a wimp tonight. I need to go to sleep. Thanks for reading. See you later.

b

I am actually cold!

I am posting this on Saturday morning because I could not get the photo to download last night...

I am cold right now because the AC is on. But we were outside a little bit ago and it's mighty cool out there! I like it!! A group of 'somebody's' have a fire in the firepit in the courtyard and although it looks mighty purty....I think they found some cottonwood or greasewood...and it stinks! Pretty don't always smell good. I checked the weather for here tomorrow and one site says the high will be 58 and another says 73. Go figure.

I got all the VA crap done today. Husband is set to leave on Monday. I actually spoke with his DR today who told me this. She will decide, on Tuesday, if she personally will be able to do surgery on Husband or if she will send him to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston. She will do an ultrasound at 10:30 Tuesday AM and will know immediately what will be done. She said he would either go directly to the OR there...or be shipped out. So I won't know anything until then. But all arrangements are made and believe it or not...it wasn't as irritating as it usually is when I deal with the VA.

If he does go to MD Anderson, I will meet him there.

I had to go get a couple of Oreos. Nothing like Oreos at 10:30 PM to get the old heart pumping and primed for a couple of

nightmares. I should have had some Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. Oh well...too late! Have you looked at an Oreo lately??       

Remember how the inside filling used to be a nice even blob of creamy white delight? Well, now the filling is still creamy and white...but instead of being a solid blob...there is a hole in the center! I wonder how much money they save by eliminating that tiny little bit??? A might smart sum, I reckon. I should take a picture...hold on a minute....I'll go get another Oreo (darn the luck!!)  I know, that's a crappy picture, but you certainly see the hole.

I'm closing now cuz this things is pissing me off...nite

b

Rain...Rain...Where the hell are you!!

Not a drop! It's all around us...but nothing here. We are the dessert, after all.

I'm going to whine and get it over with. My back is killing me. My headache is not so bad tonight. But I am stiff all over. I have been drinking a lot of water and juice so I don't think it's dehydration. Could be, though.

Husband is going to ALBQ VA on Tuesday, actually on Monday, as he has to leave here a day before in order to make the early morning appointment. I was getting sick and tired of no response or action from anyone since he was in Big Spring almost a month ago, so I got on the phone. My idea of ASAP and their idea of ASAP were just not the same. So I decided to ruffle a few feathers. I must have gotten a 'big bird' cuz they called him back within the hour. Now I will spend a few hours tomorrow making the arrangements for him to get there. I have no idea what they are going to do to him...neither does he. But at least looking at him is a big step. I'll keep you posted.

Busy day. Glad it's over.

I came home and semi cleaned this place. I wouldn't look any different to anyone but me. It was what I would call deep cleaning. Under the bed, the closet, drawers...not noticeable but very necessary. Glad it's over.

I always do a massive clean when Husband goes to the hospital so I am a baby step ahead. I cleaned before I knew he was going...oh but don't you worry...I have PLENTY more to do!! I will make a list tonight. You see...I make a real mess when I clean! One thing I have to do is check out the Rubbermaid tubs. Mostly for fall/winter clothing. I am afraid everything will be pretty big but I know there are sweatshirts that I can use. I need to downsize that stuff, too.

What I usually do is put all of my stuff on the bed and touch each and every thing I own at least 20 times and try to figure out if I really, really need it and then eventually put it back where I took it from in the first place. I have a better idea this time. I will bring 2 or 3 boxes home and sort stuff...and actually put what I really, really don't need in those boxes...and out the door they go. I am such a pack rat. And I hate to get rid of anything. It's easier to throw out Husband's stuff.

I am drinking a huge glass of orange juice. Probably not the smartest choice, especially this late at night...but I sure did want some. I had forgotten that I had some concentrate in the fridge that I got from DeCoty Coffee Company a while back. It's vacuum sealed and keeps well. So I decided to make it and it tastes wonderful. I also have some fruit punch concentrate that I need to use up. I forgot about that, too. I'll make some in a while and have it tomorrow.

I think I will forego the tea tonight. I got some Sleepy Time tea yesterday. It's pretty good. A slight mint flavor. But nothing I have will go with orange juice. Or should I say the amount of orange juice I just drank.

I suppose I should get some rest. I am clean and ready to cover up and get some ZZZZZZZ's.
See you tomorrow!

b